Good grief I’ve got too many projects. I’ve even gotten to the point where I have to have a projects page on our internal wiki to keep up with them all!
I’ve gotten (I think, crossing fingers) stable enough health- and emotion-wise to start trying to build my life up again, and the best way for me to keep from being miserable is to keep busy. The hard thing is that my health is variable and unpredictable enough that I’m very wary of committing to much of anything that has to be done in an absolute timeframe.
As I set up my business again, it has to be something that will pretty much run without me once I’ve got it running (or more accurately, will run with periodic, unscheduled bursts of activity when I can manage it).
Two other projects are in the ideation stage, with no deadlines other than when we run out of money and time to continue working on them.
The disability paper, again, no deadline. When I get it done is when I submit it for publication.
I have just signed up to teach next month’s Samadhi class on Thelemic ethics – so I have to put that together and teach it on a deadline, but the physical expenditures for that are pretty low. Work on my computer through the month, then sit in my living room in front of a bunch of friends on a particular evening and talk at them. And there are others who can jump in as backup if it turns out to be a really really bad day/week/month.
And, of course, doing art and blogging. Both “do when I can” things. Parenting and keeping the house running, both of which never stop but I have my husband for backup.
The most depression-inducing thing about all this has been feeling useless – like there’s nothing I can do that Makes a Difference because of my unreliable and resource-hogging nervous system. I’m hoping to establish enough variety in my ongoing projects that if I have a brain cell to spare past drooling on the couch there will be something that I feel like working on that does more than just kill time. Finding projects like this that don’t have deadlines has been a challenge, but I think I’ve finally got a pretty full slate. Hopefully not too full, but only time will tell.
Date: February 21, 2010